The Mpumi Foundation led by Dr Mpumi Mpama recently organised a men talk event at the Zodwa Khoza Community centre in Diepkloof phase 2. Key to this was a shared platform where men from different walks of life would find an opportunity to tackle real life issues that affect their very being. Empowered with the panel of clued-up experts in addressing pertinent subjects ranging from men’s health to finances, legal, psycho social, family relations, traditional values and more.
Bishop Mpama declared the day’s theme as “men’s mental wellness.” Men have been affected by so many issues around them. Stimulating concerns stemming from backgrounds, past and present experiences, including various forms abuses that they encounter. To break the ice men were requested to write down all the issues that bother them as individuals. Advocate Itumeleng Masako from the panel, addressed the issue of alienation that affects men negatively, especially where men are denied access to their children to not force matters but wisely approach the courts for assistance.
In highlighting some of the common relationship challenges, Nyaniso Bhengu a Chartered Accounted fittingly addressed the confusing issue of girlfriend allowance. “It stems from the historical fact that men were providers, ubuhle bendoda zinkomo.” He related. But the current issue is expectations from partners and whether one can sustain offering the other party a certain figure consistently, failing which, problems arise. “People should not create impressions of stuff they cannot hold up and be prudent with their spending.” Advised Bhengu.
Advocate Itumeleng elaborated by saying that if one cannot afford allowances then they should stay away from it because it ends up affecting people’s mental health. Some find themselves in prisons as a result of ‘unintended consequences’, as in most cases allowance and lack of allowance amounts to blackmail, where sexual consent is suddenly altered to take the face of rape! Therefore, know who you are dealing with, people should take precautionary steps. Expectations breed demands. In some instances, men are physically abused and claim that they are laughed at when reporting at a police station. “If you experience a challenge with a police officer taking your complaint, take their name and approach the station commander to report them. The law must assist victims to obtain protection, other than taking actions that will land one behind bars.” Reiterated Masako.
On the positive note men are encouraged to know and appreciate who they are, because if you know your qualities and value will not easily fall into mischief. Men to uniquely exude a self-awareness, graciously love and forgive their partners and children, contribute positively to fellow men and the broader society. Men with challenges are encouraged to find help. Men young and old were entertained with live music items, clapped hands, prayed and sang together sharing insightful thoughts with one another and treated to goodies bags at the end.
Jerry Sokhupe
Soweto Sunrise News
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