During the month of love we look at the bleak realities that some couples face each day and people may not be aware of what transpires behind the walls. While some couples enjoy the sweet Valentine month being showered with romantic goodies, to some it’s the total opposite.
There are many factors that can contribute to mental illnesses but to most men, the reality of not being able to provide for their family may unfortunately drive one to mental illnesses such as depression.
Traditionally it had always been known that men are the head of the family, with the responsibility to ensure that the family is well taken care of financially. And that women’s responsibilities were to keep the family together by taking care of the house and the children. But now lately a tendency by some women are that as soon as the husband loses his job and needs support the wife feels that it is in fact time to belittle and hurt his ego.
As a result of dysfunctional families and community, women feel safe, loved and protected when they are ushered gifts and money, but as soon as they are not receiving any material gain, they feel that their male counterparts en are worthless and powerless. Nowadays women have one question in mind and that is “are you going to provide for me and cater for my needs?” If not, they find it easy to replace their partners and hurt their ego.
Men on the other hand find it easy to control women just because they are supporting them financially. It is wrong for a woman to tell her spouse how she feels about a certain topic and give out solutions to issues at hand. Some men feel disrespected when their partners are looking for work to help them out financially. With this stereotypical mind-set, that men are supposed to provide for the family and that the wives should be ‘stay at home moms and look after the children” gives out an imbalance in the sophisticated environment!
There is a number of emotions that arise with having financial stress in the community. People end up stealing and endangering others in the community. Infrastructures get vandalised with results in the community stop suffering because of destroyed amenities. Furthermore, some resort to serious crimes as financial stress mounts ups.
Men end up fighting with their partners because of how depressed and vulnerable they seem to feel and as been witnessed in some neighbourhoods some women go out to the streets and insult their spouses claiming how worthless they are simply because they do not have money to provide for their needs. As a result of being belittled by their women counterparts, they become emotionally unstable which ultimately causes depression.
Sorting this problem may take some time but with dedication and honestly anything can be achieved. Having counselling sessions for people with financial stress and attempting to find solutions to ensure a safer community. In some circles there are support groups and activities including prayer sessions at some churches for men and women who are victims of abuse meted by their loved ones due to financial stress.
Veronica Malinga
Soweto Sunrise News
